I’ve tried to resist writing a post about valentines day, which is why I didn’t post yesterday. I didn’t want to post some lamenting piece about how much I miss my ex, or how painful this day was for me. Being single for the first valentines day in 3 years may not sound like much to some people, but for those of you who have spent every valentines day wishing and searching for someone to call your valentine I’m confident you can understand where I was yesterday. Having found love and lost it sucks.
Anyway that is NOT what I am going to write about today.
My friend KC wrote a post on facebook that really made me think about my perspective on valentines day. And then I read a blog post about loving yourself before you can fully love anyone else. And I realized, I have a really hard time loving myself.
I am too hard on myself.
If I find myself unlovable, how can I ever love someone else? How can I let someone love me?
The truth is, I believe love can overcome anything, love can stop hate in its tracks, love can heal deep wounds, mend broken hearts, and save peoples lives.
but only if it is accepted.
And we can only accept love if we believe we are worth the love.
There is a quote from one of my favorite books “The perks of being a wallflower” that says:
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
I don’t fully agree with that statement, because I think I deserve love, deep love, unconditional love, because that is what I try to give to others.
But I don’t BELIEVE I deserve it.
Because I too often fail at giving that love. Because I am too often an asshole to the people I claim to love. Because I am a selfish child in my heart.
I am 28 years old and I have yet to learn how to accept myself, in all my flawed perfection.
So how do you accept yourself? How did you learn? because for as much as I’ve tried, I still can’t figure out how to love myself? any advice would be helpful.
*side note this has nothing to do with me being trans, or bisexual just fyi I am very proud of that part of my life*
From S to J 