Cheers to the Adventure.

“Compass”
By Lady Antebellum

Alright
Yeah it’s been a bumpy road
Roller coasters
High and low
Fill the tank and drive the car
Pedal fast, pedal hard
You won’t have to go that farYou wanna give up ’cause it’s dark
We’re really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you’re lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it’s all said and done
You can walk instead of run
‘Cause no matter what you’ll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh

Forgot directions on your way
Don’t close your eyes don’t be afraid
We might be crazy late at night I can’t wait til you arrive
Follow stars you’ll be alright

You wanna give up ’cause it’s dark
We’re really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you’re lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it’s all said and done
You can walk instead of run
‘Cause no matter what you’ll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh
You wanna give up ’cause it’s dark
We’re really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you’re lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it’s all said and done
You can walk instead of run
‘Cause no matter what you’ll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh

When it’s all said and done
You can walk instead of run
‘Cause no matter what you’ll never be alone

 

I’ve listened to A LOT of songs over the past few months, while wallowing in hurt and mourning the loss of my relationship with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

 

I’ve listened to A LOT of sad songs, sappy songs, unrequited love songs, and songs that let you just cry for a while. I happened upon this song while trolling YouTube for some new “self-pity” music…and found it oddly comforting. The more I listened to it the more I realized I needed to get up out of my pit of self-indulgence and find my heart again.

 

In those months of sadness, and self-absorption I really believed that my ex still had my heart, and I would never get it back.

 

While listening to this song I realized 2 things:

    1. My ex would always have a piece of my heart. Because I don’t believe you can love someone as deeply as I loved her and not lose a piece of yourself when she’s gone.

    2. More importantly though, she was not the one holding on to the rest of my heart; I was. After having it broken, I picked up the pieces of my heart and held them so tightly in my hands that I couldn’t even allow them to heal. I realized I was never going to heal, if I did not let go of them.

 

Now I can’t say that has been easy, I still have nights (and days) where all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I still hear songs that remind me of her, and bring me to tears. I still ride by our old apartment and wish that things had never changed. But, I now believe that I can survive life without her. Sometimes I even think I might be better off. And there are days I wake up excited for the adventures of the day, even if I have to face them without her, they will still be adventures.

 

I know that I am not alone, God has been constantly reminding me that as much as this sucks, and as much as it hurts, He’s got me. He’s surrounded me with people who love me, who constantly tell me how much they care, and who never let me wallow for too long. 🙂

 

So for as much as it still sucks, this is a good life.

 

Now instead of listening to those sappy self-indulgent unrequited love songs that make me want to cry, I listen to this song.

 

“You’ll Be Okay”

By: A Great Big World

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better daysAnd change will come
It’s on it’s way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

‘Cause you’re never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way

Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday

‘Cause you’re never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand

And I will be strong
When love is gone
I’ll carry on…

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain

When you need it the most
And all you’ve got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay.

Right now at this stage in my “healing” process I still can’t imagine ever loving someone the way I loved her, but who knows what tomorrow holds?

So raise your glasses, and Cheers to the adventure.